Marriage

I have put this post off for a while because I know most of you probably are thinking: A. I look like a child so I can’t possibly be giving marriage advice. B. I haven’t been married long enough to write a blog post over marriage. Well, the reality is that it doesn’t matter age or years of marriage. When God teaches you some great things about marriage, you should share them in hopes to helping each other out.

Over the years, God has really started showing me what His intentions are for marriage and how He created it to be. Marriage is supposed to show the relationship between Christ and us. It’s a little ironic because we are all sinful humans and tend to turn our backs on Christ a time or two through life but He is always there for us. In reality, it just shows that husbands and wives go through some hard times and its up to us on how much we are willing to fight to come back together. He originally started out with Adam and Eve as the first couple. Most people know the story but I want to point out they were the first marriage and they were so vulnerable with each other to where they could walk around naked and spend their days in the garden with no worries. They didn’t have social media ruining their relationship, they didn’t have family giving negative input, there was not another person trying to ruin their relationship. I think it’s beautiful and that their love for each other must of been so open and amazing. (We will ignore the fact they made the first sin and doomed us all.. I’m kidding.. but really).

Genesis 2:24-25 For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh. And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed.

We all know marriage is not easy. We have to be completely selfless if we want to have a happy marriage in the long run. Marriage is about being one together, not you becoming the marriage and letting the other tag along. Once you are married, you are putting your spouses needs before your own. You should strive to make them happy, compliment them, seek God with them, put your spouse above the kids, show them love and mercy, forgive them even over the silliest things. Your spouse is your partner, you made a convent together when you got married to love each other through the crappiest things in life. We are all human and have a sinful nature so we will mess up at times. But that’s why Gods there and His word to guid us through it. Marriage is not something that once you get bored, you quit. You fight for your marriage because you chose to spend the rest of your life with someone once you said your vows and made that covenant.

Mark 10:9 What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate.

I have learned that a lot of people (including myself at times) have our priorities completely off. This does not apply to everyone but most people need to have their priorities together to be able to live their life the way God intended. That being said, the first thing at the top should always be Christ. Christ is above your kids and spouse. How do you expect to be able to love your spouse and kids if you do not know how to love Christ as he loves us. You will not be complete in a marriage or as a person if you do not fill your cup with the unconditional love of Jesus. You will always be searching for something to fill your void when in reality your missing Jesus that can only fill that.

1 John 4:8 The one who does not love does not know God, for God is love.

Second, your spouse comes before your children. Did you catch that? Your small child that needs you 24/7 does not come before your spouse. Obviously the children need tended to, but once they are comfortable and helped, your spouse should be your priority. Its harsh but you chose that marriage usually before having that child. You cannot expect to have a lifelong marriage without nurturing it everyday. I feel that people forget that their spouses needs come before their own. We are very selfish people and usually only think of ourselves. But, your spouse needs should be your focus before yourself. You should want to make them happy, make them feel loved, show them mercy even when you don’t think they deserve it, forgive when you want to be angry, and just do those dang dishes for them even if you hate it the whole time. Making them feel special will make them want to make you feel the same way. Remember to say thank you to each other even over the smallest things. Learn their love language so you know how to show them love the way they want to receive it, not how you think they should.

1 Corinthians 7:3-4 The husband must fulfill his duty to his wife, and likewise also the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does; and likewise also the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does.

Hebrews 13:4 Marriage is to be held in honor among all, and the marriage bed is to be undefiled; for fornicators and adulterers God will judge.

I could give you so many scripture from the bible on marriage but I will let you go search them and study it. The bible talks so highly of marriage and the importance of loving and respecting each other that its almost intimidating when thinking about it. BUT be aware, marriage is such a big deal to God which means its a big deal to the devil to destroy. Always be on your toes and ready for what Satan will throw at you. He will test your faith and try everything he can to ruin your marriage. Don’t give him the time or day to ruin something so beautiful. You can do all things through Christ who strengthens you (Philippians 4:13). Forgive as Christ forgave you, love as Christ loves you, and show grace even when its not deserved. We can all be followers of Christ, its time to show it in our marriages.

Much Love,
Charity